The BBC News is a collective of Surrealist homosexual, communistic artists, invented by Paddington the Fish, beaten regularly by the Government of the day, which they seem to like immensely.

Mick Hobjob is one of the BBC’s most famous presenters, although he only managed to host one show, “The News with Mick Hobjob”, before disappearing down a rabbit hole in the Sandwich Islands.

Fun Facts

• They often dressed in drag, thus they attracted the epithet “Auntie Beeb”.

• They invented the cornball “It was a dark and stormy night…” format for news reporting.

• A typical story may run along the lines: “It was a dark and stormy night when an unsuspecting Macgregor Mathers stepped out of his Bentley to find himself brutally stabbed to the pavement.” and then continue.

• BBC News own Surrey and other counties of the Rich UK where they continually rankle sexually repressed heterosexuals into ankle biting fetishes.

• The most popular BBC Newsreader to date has been Noel Edmunds, who was unfairly dismissed after shaving his beard off for Children in Need. Many letters of protest were received in the aftermath, but Noel was never reinstated.